“Let’s say you had a friend who was forty years old, and let’s say this guy played video games all night, slept around with ten different women, whoever he could get to have sex with him, drank all the time, partied it up, the whole bit. Would you respect that guy?…
“If someone in [in his twenties] lives like this, he’s not a loser. Apparently, he is well-esteemed…
“I think [the forty-year-old] is supposed to be mature, because he is forty. But we’ve kind of said something here, haven’t we? We’ve said maturity doesn’t stay up all night playing video games and doesn’t sleep with ten women. Maturity practices self-discipline, and points a person toward a noble aim…,” (To Own a Dragon, Donald Miller).
It’s funny how the things that sound appealing to me, the things I am tempted to do, are the very kinds of things I would not want to be known for. It would be fun to live like that—pleasure seeking, lazy, always looking for the next good time and caring nothing for consequences. I know I’m supposed to say that wild living is bad and it is, but it can be fun, too.
Still, I don’t want to be known for that kind of living.
I don’t want my legacy to be wild parties and video games, dodging responsibility well into my forties. I pity men like that. I want to be one others look to as wise, self-controlled, reliable and strong.
Our culture respects such men, but it does not breed such men. On the contrary, our culture encourages men to indulge, to pursue pleasure and to abandon discipline for the pseudo-legacies of professional sports, carnal conquests and a resume that ceases to matter the moment you retire, (and frankly matters less than many of us think long before that).
The twin reality strikes me dead in the face: it is both very difficult and very easy to be the kind of man I want to be.
Difficult because there are a host of voices encouraging me, enticing me to forget all about the hard work of a disciplined life and just enjoy the ride. There are even “godly” voices pushing me in this direction, preaching a health-and-wealth gospel that would have me believe God really just wants me to be fat and happy.
Simultaneously, it is easy because, well, it’s just not complex. It is, rather, quite simple. Live a disciplined life. Stay away from the things that don’t match my goals, keep close watch on my priorities and genuinely pursue God.
Jesus said it this way: “The most important command is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these,” (Mark 12:29-31).
A tall, but very straight-forward order.
If I were known for that kind of life, that would be a real legacy. Said another way, and admitting that I currently fall far short of the goal, that’s a target worth aiming for.
